Saturday, June 12, 2010

How Big Is Too Big?

I'm sitting here drinking my morning coffee & catching up on the newest episode of "Bethany Getting Married" on Bravo and the couple on the show is having a disagreement about how big their wedding should be. The dilemma: How big do they want their wedding? Can they make their wedding small and still include their family and friends? How big is too big?

I think this is one of the hardiest decisions for a couple to decide when planning their wedding. My husband and I went through the same problem when planning our own wedding. We wanted a small event but we have so many family members and friends that we wanted to include in our special day. It was very hard when making our guest list and there were several arguments about who to invite and or to leave off the list. Our solution was to limit it to our closest family and friends. Only people who knew us best and knew us both were invited and we were able to settle at a comfortable 70 person wedding.

The advice I give to couples planning their weddings is to first decide your comfort level. Do you want 150 people watching you for your first dance? Or would you feel more at ease with 75 people? Every couple is different and when you are planning your special day sometimes you need to throw out the rule book. Invite people you feel close to and want to share the special moment with, not people who invited you to their wedding or because they are your parents' work friend. It does get hard when parents are paying for the wedding because they want to invite everyone BUT it's not their wedding, it's yours. The day needs to be about you and your soon-to-be spouse. By going through each individual family member and friend, you can slowly decide the people that you would like to be present at your wedding. The list won't be black and white, think shades of grey. If you invite your spouse's cousins, that does not mean that you have to invite your cousins. Keep to your agreement and though it won't be easy, you'll be happy in the end.

At the end of the day, every wedding is beautiful and reflects the couple's style. So relax, get ready for some arguments about whether to invite or not to invite your long lost cousin and get planning!

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